Fighting Back (Mercy's Angels) Page 16

  Chapter 16

  Charlie

  Telling Rebecca about my fight with Hayward was like lifting a heavy weight off my shoulders. I would always carry the guilt over what happened to Michael, but with Rebecca knowing, I felt like there were no more secrets between us. We had passed through a relationship door of sorts—we had reached the point where we no longer had secrets, our hearts and souls were completely exposed and vulnerable—it was in this place our relationship could only flourish. My promise that I would never hurt her was the easiest declaration I have ever made. It would be simply impossible for me to harm a blonde hair on her beautiful head.

  Watching Rebecca fire a weapon has seriously been the sexiest thing I have ever seen. I knew she’d been nervous, even a little repulsed by the idea of firing a gun, but by the time she finished, she had a new respect for firearms. The little spark in her eyes had been full of power. She’d missed the tree by a longshot, but damn if I wasn’t impressed by her determination. We would practice every day to help build her confidence in handling a weapon. I hated that she had to do this; I hated that she needed protection. I wanted to give her back her cozy life in her cute little house, but I couldn’t help but love all the one on one time I was getting with her. Yeah, I was a selfish prick through and through.

  Later that day, I watched her flit around the kitchen like it had been made for her. She had quickly settled into my home; she fit here perfectly. I could absolutely get used to her being here permanently. Just doing normal stuff like cooking together, eating together, showering together—I wanted it all.

  “Charlie, when are you supposed fight Luke?”

  “Next week.” Her question brought me from my Betty Crocker haze. I finished chopping the onions and put them in a bowl beside her, ready for her world’s famous Donovan chili she was preparing.

  “Well, since it seems as if Luke isn’t the one who hurt me, maybe you don’t have to fight him anymore. I don’t want you to break your no-hitting rule because of me.”

  I leaned against the counter beside her, not wanting any space between us. “He might not have hurt you, but he was still an asshole who was disrespectful to you. He needs to be knocked down a peg or two. Besides, I’m in better control now than I was all those years ago. I’m not concerned that I’ll lose control of myself. And this fight with Luke is a one time thing. I trust the General. He’ll make sure it’s a low contact fight with minimal risks.” Rebecca looked up at me from under those long lashes. The little spark in her eye made me smile.

  “You realize that’s total bullshit, don’t you?”

  “Bullshit?” I raised a brow.

  “You don’t have to fight him just for being disrespectful. Shit, Charlie, do you have any idea how many men have spoken to me in a less than respectful way over the years? Are you going to fight them all?”

  “There’s a good chance,” I said, shoving a few slices of carrot in my mouth. Rebecca sighed and shook her head.

  “What if he says something about me and you lose your damn temper,” she murmured.

  I moved to stand behind her and didn’t miss the tension that coiled through her body. It didn’t last long, but it was still there. I wondered if it was because of my recent admission or her memories of the attack. “Rebecca?”

  “I’m okay,” she whispered. “Just bad memories.”

  I ran the tips of my fingers over the gentle slope of her shoulders. She was small, but not as small as Ella. Her blonde head sat under my chin as if she was made for me. My hands continued down her arms, eventually leaving to trace the line of her waist and eventually finish my exploration under the hem of her shirt, my hands resting on the slight roundness of her stomach.

  “Just another bad memory we are going to replace with a good one.” I nibbled her neck and smiled when she all but melted into my embrace.

  “You’re trying to distract me,” she breathed.

  “I’ve got my temper under control, Betty Boop. I’d rather fight Luke in the ring, under the watch of officials than confront him in the street.”

  Rebecca shook her head. “Freakin’ Neanderthal,” she muttered.

  I laughed and brought my lips to the shell of her ear, pressing slow kisses down her neck, inhaling her soft vanilla scent. “You’ve got me torn in two, baby,” I whispered. She tilted her head slightly so I could nuzzle closer.

  “How so?” she whispered breathlessly, and I marveled that I could make her feel that way.

  “On one hand, I want to put you on my arm and parade you around town like the treasure you are. I want everyone to know you’re mine and I’m yours.” I licked her neck and she shivered. “Then on the other hand, I want to keep you here, in my home, in my bed where no one else can touch you, where no one else can even fucking look at you.” She reached up and grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling my lips to hers. I groaned and kissed her with everything I had. When we finally parted, her big beautiful eyes looked up at me with wanton desire. “Dinner first, dessert later,” I murmured with a parting kiss to her nose.

  “Damn tease,” she growled.

  I never brought women up here, so it was fair enough to say that I wasn’t prepared for romantic candle lit dinners, but I found some candles hidden in the back of one of the drawers. I can’t remember buying them or stuffing them in the bottom of that particular drawer, but I’m thankful for the forgotten decision to do so. I didn’t have a lavish dining room, but I wiped down the island in the middle of the kitchen and lit the candles. I didn’t have any wine, so beer would have to do.

  After setting the table, I brought Rebecca to her seat and pulled out her chair, helping her climb up onto the stool. The genuine appreciation of my effort in Rebecca’s eyes was enough to commit me to doing this regularly for her. The silence as we ate was comfortable, interrupted only by my possibly far too vocal moaning and enjoyment of Rebecca’s famous chili. She arched one of those perfect eyebrows in my direction and I shrugged.

  “I thought we covered this, I get a hard-on for food.” She shook her head and took a swig of her beer.

  “So,” she began, “when we go back into town, I thought I might talk to Dave.”

  I was both surprised and pleased with her decision. “That’s a great idea, and if you find yourself uncomfortable talking to him, he can recommend someone else, someone you can trust.” Rebecca was swinging her legs back and forth and I realized it was out of nervousness.

  “If you’re not ready to talk to him, don’t force it. Dave isn’t going anywhere.”

  She pushed her empty plate forward a little, and fidgeted with her empty beer bottle. “He helped you, obviously.”

  I nodded in agreement. I owed my life to both Dave and Mercy. “He did. He helped me realize where my anger stemmed from. Once we knew where all that shit was buried, I was able to address it, deal with it. I was angry with my family and lashed out at not only them, but everyone around me. I had to let that anger go, I had to move forward. I still get pissed from time to time when I think about my childhood and some of the shit I went through, but I know that it all turned out okay. I’m good now. I have a good job, I’m fit, healthy.” I caught her eye when she looked up at me. “I’ve got a beautiful woman in my life that completes me. Anger doesn’t control me anymore.”

  She blushed and covered her reaction with a smart ass remark, “Except for Luke Hollywell.”

  “Except for Luke Hollywell, and the other asshole that hurt you. There is a special place on my shit list reserved for that asshole. You can’t blame me though, they hurt what’s mine, and don’t get me wrong, I might not have realized it at the time, but you were mine.” Rebecca slid down from her stool and began clearing the table. “You get nervous when I speak about my feelings for you,” I observed.

  She cast me a quick glance over her shoulder and shrugged. “I guess I’m not used to it. My parents died when I was young, and my grandmother brought me and Emily up. She was pretty old fashioned and had been raised by her own grandmother, who
was pretty cold and impassive. My grandmother loved Emily and I, there was no doubt about it, but she didn’t know how to express that love, she never said the words and I guess I never really needed to hear them.”

  I understood what it was like to grow up in a home that lacked love and affection. “My mother once told me she thought Satan had deposited me in her womb as punishment for her impure thoughts.” Rebecca looked horrified and I laughed at the outraged look on her face. If my mother walked into the room right now, I think Rebecca might just get a little scrappy. “Mercy never let a day go by where she didn’t tell me she loved me, that I was worthy and cherished. She wiped away all the crap my parents fed me, and helped me become the man I am today. Never doubt the power of words, Rebecca, they can help you heal, make you feel whole. Not a day will pass where you won’t hear those kinds of words from me.” She just stared at me as if searching for the truth and when she saw it, she took the three too far away steps towards me. I pulled her into my body and kissed the daylights out of her.

  “I want you,” she whispered, when I finally allowed her to breathe.

  “Go upstairs and run yourself a bath. I’ll clean up down here and lock up.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I won’t be far behind you.” Rebecca quickly disappeared upstairs and I found myself cleaning like a man possessed. I wanted to give her enough time to think this through. As much as I didn’t want her to change her mind, I didn’t want her doing something she wasn’t ready for either. Once I secured the locks, then double checked them, I took the stairs two at a time. I followed a trail of clothes from the bedroom door to the bathroom, and chuckled as I picked them up. The bathroom was in a haze of steam, the Jacuzzi full of hot water, and Rebecca submerged to her neck in bubbles. “I have bubble bath?” I asked, a little surprised.

  “Shampoo,” she admitted without opening her eyes. Damn she was beautiful, her hair was in a messy bun on the top of her head, her face free of makeup. Her big blue eyes opened to settle on me staring at her from the doorway. “Are you doing laundry?” she asked, taking in my arm full of clothes.

  “You know something,” I asked, placing the clothes on the bathroom counter, “I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, in clothes and out of them. But I miss the pretty dresses and skirts you used to wear.” She looked surprised and sat up a little straighter as I knelt by the tub.

  “You don’t think they were silly? Immature?” she asked.

  It shocked me into silence. Rebecca Donovan radiated confidence. She never cared what anyone thought about the way she dressed. Her ability to hold her head high and disregard the curious looks she got by people who didn’t know her was just one of the many things I admired about her. “Did you ever think they were silly?” She shook her head. “Then what does it matter what other people think.” She looked away and I put my finger under her chin and brought her eyes back to mine. “I’m not going to let him take away your confidence, Betty Boop. It’s not his to take. You are a strong, intelligent, sexy, spirited woman. You wear those hot as hell sexy outfits because that’s who you are. You don’t give a fuck what others think about you, and that’s just one of the things I love about you.” Her sharp intake of breath alerted me to what I had just said. I loved her? Fuck, I guess I did. If being in love was seeing yourself grow old with someone, seeing her belly grow with your child in it, kissing her lips at the end of every day and at the start of every morning from here until eternity, then hell yes, I was in love. “Don’t you dare say it back, ‘cause that will make me think you’re only saying it because I did. Say it when you’re ready, when it feels right.”

  I stood and began peeling off my clothes. Her eyes were glassy as I watched her gazing at me. Even though I was nervous about how she felt over that little chick-flick moment where I talked about my feelings for her, I will still as hard as steel. Not only my heart wanted her, my body did, too. My feelings for Rebecca had seeped deep into my body, right down into my heart. Every little thing about her was beautiful—her stubborn pride, fierce independence and strength, and the subtle fragility that I could see underneath all that passion and intensity. Surely those images of perfection would never disappear from my eyes. Loving Rebecca for the rest of my life would be the easiest thing I would ever do.

  Chapter 17

  Rebecca

  He loved me. Charlie Cole loved me. Charlie Cole, who loved everything but love, loved me. I wanted to cry, but more than that, I wanted to return the beautiful sentiment to him. But he was right—I didn’t want to say those sacred words just because he had. I knew I felt the same about him, but I wanted it to be perfect when I finally acknowledged it out loud. At this moment, I felt like the most powerful woman on the planet, and when he stood, stretching to his full six foot whatever height, and began peeling off his clothes, my eyes were riveted to the beautiful man and his stunning body. As he unbuttoned his jeans and lowered the fly, my eyes were drawn to his groin. As the worn denim left his hips, I moved aside, eager to have him in the water with me. He was a masterpiece, his muscles shaped to perfection, the rough shadow of hair on his chin gave him a handsomely rugged appearance. Charlie climbed into the Jacuzzi and moved me forward to position himself at my back. Feeling his skin against mine was comforting, and as his arms slipped around my waist, I felt protected in his firm hold.

  “You always smell good,” Charlie murmured.

  I needed more. I needed his hands on me, I needed him in me. He was already in my heart, now I needed him marked on my soul. He was mine and I was his. Nothing would stand between us, especially some faceless monster. I grabbed Charlie’s hands, which sat chastely on my stomach, and moved them to cup my breasts. The twitch of his cock at my back emboldened me, and I reached around to grasp the rigid length as he pinched my nipples.

  “So damn pretty,” he whispered. As he played with my breasts and kissed my neck, I grew restless quickly—this was still not enough—I couldn’t get close enough. I turned in Charlie’s arms, straddled his lap, and pressed my lips to his. He let me take control of the kiss. I explored his lips, his mouth. Sucking at his lower lip, I pulled away to look into his intense green eyes. I knew he was watching for any hesitation or fear.

  “I want this, Charlie, I need you.” One of his hands left my waist to slide down between my thighs. As his lips took possession of mine, his hand took possession of me more intimately. I found myself shamelessly riding his hand, and I didn’t care how brazen my body had become. Charlie had that effect on me. I found myself comfortable with him, open and willing to be whatever it was that he needed me to be, to take whatever it was I needed from him. We were a perfect fit on every level. Soul mates that had lost their way for a short while, just like Charlie had said. I was quickly worked into a frenzy and found myself pushing Charlie’s hand aside and gripping his cock, guiding it towards my hot core. Charlie didn’t try and stop me, but his eyes never once left mine, watching me cautiously with unconcealed desire. My eyes fluttered shut as I began to slowly sink down onto him. He was big—damn!—how had I forgotten how big he was? I worked myself slowly down, becoming accustomed to his size as Charlie gripped my hips, thrusting gently into me. Once I was fully seated on his erection, I tentatively rocked forward, allowing myself to become reacquainted with Charlie’s body. My hands traced his neck, shoulders, chest, arms, while he lovingly did the same to me.

  “No condom, Betty Boop,” Charlie whispered.

  I didn’t stop riding him at the leisurely pace I had found. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean,” I murmured. “And I’m sure you wouldn’t have let us get this far if you weren’t.”

  He nodded, his cheeks flushed. “I would always protect you, even from myself.” His words encouraged me to ride him harder, faster. The water in the Jacuzzi churned like a rough sea, the water slipping over the edge and to the tiled floor. One of Charlie’s hands gripped the back of my neck, pulling me forward to his demanding kiss. His other hand slipped down to my clit and pressed with gentle yet dete
rmined strokes. Charlie growled with unbidden pleasure and that’s all it took to set me off.

  “Shit,” I groaned as my orgasm teetered on the edge. Charlie pressed a little firmer at the bundle of nerves between my legs and I fell, my orgasm flooding my veins as my body soared with complete abandon. When conscious thought finally claimed me once again, I realized Charlie had also reached his own peak, his head resting against my shoulder. His cock twitched inside me and I inadvertently clenched around him.

  “Damn, I could do that all night.” He chuckled.

  I sat up and smiled. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

  “You are a dream come true,” he said with a hint of mockery, but the sincerity in his eyes told me he meant every word of it. “Come on, it’s getting cold in here.” Charlie lifted me and I climbed from the tub. We dried off and when I attempted to pull my pajamas on, Charlie pushed my hands away and dragged me naked to his bed. “You’ve got me to keep you warm, you don’t need them.” With Charlie spooned against my back, his arms wrapped around me, legs thrown over mine, I did feel warm, inside and out. Charlie’s soft kiss to the back of my neck was the last thing I remembered as I drifted off to sleep.

  * * *

  I don’t know how I had managed to disentangle myself from Charlie without waking him up, but I did. I wanted him to sleep in. Twice during the night, I woke up screaming from dreams of dark, ugly, tainted memories. In the end, Charlie had left the bedside lamp on and soothed me back to sleep, and now I felt guilty. Charlie shouldn’t have to deal with my drama. Why the hell couldn’t I just get over it and move on? When I was awake, I could acknowledge my fear had somewhat diminished in Charlie’s presence. I wasn’t as nervous and jumpy during the daylight hours, but as soon as darkness descended, so did the nightmares. After my attack I feel like I’ve lost so much—my identity, my strength, my self-confidence—and Charlie was helping me get that back. But there were still many deep-rooted fears that had taken up residence in my heart: fear of being overpowered, of not being able to defend myself; fear that someone could so easily invade the safety of my home and hurt me. A fear I had never experienced before the attack and sometimes felt so thick and strong I thought it would suffocate me. I didn’t know to fix that.